Monday, November 16, 2009

Are you required to get gifts for everyone (family, attendants) at your wedding?

I am having a smallish wedding (100 guests) and no wedding attendants (bridesmaids, groomsmen). My cousins are going to pass out programs, my sister is the guest registrar, my brother is giving me away. I have a three year old flower girl and her brother as ring bearer... am I supposed to get all of these people gifts? The wedding is quite informal and going to be short, but I just thought that it wasn't really necessary to get everyone a gift... is this true? I really don't want to get them gifts.

Are you required to get gifts for everyone (family, attendants) at your wedding?
I think you should. Just to show your appreciation, it does not have to be extravagant. A $10 gift certificate to a toy store for the kids, for example.
Reply:Yes, I would get them gifts because they are in the wedding.





Something small like a necklace for the girls and personalized stuff for the boys.





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Great ideas!
Reply:In a traditional wedding party, here is who gets gifts: the parents, maid of honor, best man, bridesmaids, groomsmen, ring bearer, and flower girl. Most people also give gifts, although smaller, to the ushers and reader.





Considering the informality of your wedding and size of it, I would say that the people you listed should get gifts, but small ones. A handmade card with a genuine note of thanks and a corsage/bout. for them to wear would be enough. But both of your parents still get gifts, and good ones.
Reply:it would be appropriate to get them a small something just to show your appreciation. maybe a candle or something?
Reply:Yes u need to get some small gift of appreciation for those who are helping u and for the mothers of the bride and groom. that is appropriate and is customary. enjoy your day and take care...
Reply:There is no set expectation anymore, however.... it is something you can do and it has been done many times before. You don't have to give them anything extravagant by any means... you can make little gifts from very little money that are more meaningful. For example, I got my ring bearer and flower girl two "silver" toned yoyos... you can get them on eBay by searching for "silver yoyo". It was a hit! This is a great gift for your brother as well - it is truely entertaining to anyone who receives it. Any yoyo will do... little thoughtful gifts can go a long long way, even a bag of candy for the kids. Have a happy wedding.
Reply:Your wedding looks like my wedding...


I didn't get people a gift, but I bought about 300 small chocolate with our name and the date on the paper, and I put them near the golden book and on the table near each glass.





So it wasn't really a gift, but at least there was something for the guests. They really appreciate it !
Reply:They should still get gifts as a sign of appreciation for doing the things they are for your wedding. It can be something small and simple...get the kids a few toys (I got my flower girl some dress up jewelry), get the girls some cute earrings or a necklace...it doesn't have to be expensive, but you really should get them a gift, regardless of how big or formal your wedding is.
Reply:Just get the flower girl and ring bearer gifts. Make sure they are gifts that will keep them occupied (Barbies, coloring books, toy cars, etc.). Make sure to stay away from cellophane-wrapped candy because that noise could show up on the wedding video.





I was a scripture reader and bulletin person at different weddings, and didn't receive anything. I wasn't offended. Attendants are usually the only ones who get gifts (jewelry for the women to wear and things for the guys so that they don't feel left out).


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