What is the best least expensive loving gift besides chocolates and flowers for my wife on Valentines Day?

It has to be original!!!!!

What is the best least expensive loving gift besides chocolates and flowers for my wife on Valentines Day?
What in the world is the difference between loving a person and being attached to them ?


Love is the sincere wish for others to be happy, and to be free from suffering.


Having realistically recognized others' kindness as well as their faults, love is always focused on the other persons welfare. We have No ulterior motives to fulfill our self-interest, or to fulfill our desires; to love others simply because they exist.


Attachment, on the other hand, exaggerates others' good qualities and makes us crave to be with them. When we're with them, we're happy, but when we're separated from them, we are often miserable. Attachment is linked with expectations of what others should be or do.


Is love as it is usually understood in our society


really love ? or attachment ?


Let us examine this a bit more. Generally we are attracted to people either because they have qualities we value or because they help us in some way. If we observe our own thought processes mindfully, and carefully - we'll notice that we look for specific qualities in others.


Some of these qualities we find attractive, others are those our parents, or society value.


We examine someone's looks, body, education,


financial situation, social status. This is how most of us decide on whether or not the person holds any true value to us.


In addition, we judge people as worthwhile according to how they relate to us. If they help us, praise us, make us feel secure, listen to what we have to say, care for us when we are sick or depressed, we consider them good people, and it is this type of people we are most likely to be more attracted to.





But this is very biased, for we judge them only in terms of how they relate to "us", as if we are the most important person in the world.


After we've judged certain people to be good for us, whenever we see them it appears to us as if goodness is coming from them, but if we are more aware, we recognize that we have projected this goodness onto them.





Desiring to be with the people a lot who make us feel good, we become emotional yo-yo's -


when we're with these people, we're Up, when we're not with these people, we're Down.





Furthermore, we form fixed concepts of what our relationships with those people will be and thus have expectations of them. When they do not live up to our expectations of them, we're very disappointed, or may become angry !


We want them to change so that they will they will match what we think they are. But our projections and expectations come from our own minds, not from the other people.


Our problems arise not because others aren't


who we thought they we're, but because we mistakenly thought they were something they


aren't.


Checklist: "I Love You if __________ "


What we call love is most often attachment.


It is actually a disturbing attitude that overestimates the qualities of another person.


We then cling to tightly to that person, thinking our happiness depends on that person.


"Love, on the other hand, is an open and very calm, relaxed attitude. We want someone to be happy, and free from suffering simply because they exist. While attachment is uncontrolled and much too sentimental, Love is direct and powerful. Attachment obscures our judgment and we become impatient, angry, and impartial, helping only our dear one's and harming those who we don't like. Love builds up others, and clarifies our minds, and we


access a situation by thinking of the greatest good for everyone. Attachment is based on


selfishness, while Love is founded upon cherishing others, even those who do not look very appealing to the eyes. Love looks beyond


all the superficial appearances, and dwells on the fact that they are just like us: they want inner peace, happiness, and want to avoid suffering. If we see unattractive, dirty, ignorant people, we feel repulsed because our selfish minds want to know attractive, intellectual, clean, and talented people. Love, on the other hand, never evaluates others by these superficial standards and looks much deeper into the person. Love recognizes that regardless of the others' appearances, their experience is the same as ours: they seek inner peace, to be happy, to be free from sufferings, and to do their best to avoid problems.


When we're attached, we're not mentally and emotionally free. We overly depend on and cling to another person to fulfill our mental and especially our emotional needs. We fear losing the person, feeling we'd be incomplete without him.


This does not mean that we should suppress our emotional needs or become aloof, alone and totally independent, for that too does not solve the problem. We must simply realize our unrealistic needs, and slowly seek to eliminate them. Some emotional needs may be so strong that they can't be dissolved immediately.


If we try to suppress them or pretend they do not exist, we become anxious, insecure, falling into a depression. In this case, we can do our best to fulfill our needs while simultaneously working gradually to subdue them.


"The core problem is we seek to be loved, rather than to love. We yearn to be understood by others rather than to understand them. In all honesty, our sense of emotional insecurities comes from the selfishness obscuring our own


minds. 'We can develop self-confidence by recognizing our inner potential to become a selfless human being with many, many magnificent qualities, then we'll develop a true and accurate feeling of self-confidence. And


then we'll seek to increase true love, without attachments, to increase compassion, to cultivate patience and understanding, as well as generosity, concentration and wisdom.'





'Under the influence of attachment we're bound by our emotional reactions to others. When they are nice to us, we're happy. When they ignore us, or speak sharply to us, we take it personally and are unhappy. But pacifying attachment doesn't mean we become hard-hearted. Rather, without attachment there will be space in our hearts and minds for genuine Affection and Impartial Love for them.


We'll be actively involved with them.


If we learn to subdue our attachments, we can most definitely have successful friendships and personal relationships with others !! These relationships will be richer because of the freedom and respect - the relationships will be based on. We'll care about the happiness and the misery of all human beings equally, simply because everyone is the same in wanting and needing inner peace, happiness, and not wanting to suffer. However, our lifestyles and interests may be more compatible with those of some people more so than with others, and that is alright. In any case, our relationships will be based on mutual Love, mutual interests, and the wish to help each other in life.





SOURCE: Thubten Chodron.
Reply:nice but a bit expensive
Reply:your undivided attention
Reply:Craftsman belt sander, cheaper than a dozen roses and handy as all get out!!





http://www.sears.com/sr/javasr/product.d...
Reply:You could take her out to eat in a hotel restaraunt and surprise her by having a room reserved..get it ready ahead of time or have a friend or family member help.......put rose petals around the room and a candle that smells good, and something to drink....you can put scarves over the lampshades for low light ( not for all night...watch them they can get hot)....bring music....YOU COULD DO THIS IN YOUR OWN BEDROOM TOO...........








Cook dinner or have a friend do it for you and make a romantic candle lit... at home evening...play her favorite music...rub her feet...get a babysitter if you have kids...have her mom or your mom help so it's ready when she walks in....








YOU COULD DO BOTH!
Reply:May I suggest a framed photo, I think they are always "original". Perhaps of a vacation the two of you took or just a happy moment you had together. I am a bit of a shutter-bug so that is often a gift I give, which are received well. You may consider enlarging it and laminating, or just putting it in a frame. I find it is usually the effort you put into the gift that makes it special, not the actual cost. If however she values the actual cost greater than the effort, may I suggest a divorce attorney?





One more observation, if the reason you are looking for "the least expensive loving gift" is that hard times have befallen you, I and likely she too, will understand, if however your are simply a cheap SOB, well, I would suggest the same advice to your wife.
Reply:I think the best thing for you to get her is jewelry. Go to jewelrytelevision.com and look at there valentine's specials they have a nice charm bracelet and other stuff for like under 30 bucks, then cook her a nice dinner and show her that you care by rubbing her feet. That is going to get you some brother.
Reply:I don't know about original but bubble bath; body lotions from Bed %26amp; Bath; a foot massage; or a nice home cooked meal by candle light are all inexpensive thoughtful gifts. Or you could pick up some eadible body paints!!!
Reply:here's what im doing for my boyfriend thats very non-expensive but so personal





we text eachother all the time. i wrote down on separate pieces of paper, my favorite texts i've gotten from him.. i have about 45 pieces of paper filled with my favorite texts from him. i'm going to put all these messages together neatly in a nice journal, with a poem at the end of the journal. when i give it to him i'm going to say that whenever i feel down, his messages cheer me up, and i want to share this experience with him





you could try:





writing a poem, doesn't even have to rhyme





make a collage of pictures of you two together





put flower petals all over the bed, car, desk, etc.





make a coupoun book (ex: good for one kiss.. good for one home-made dinner.. good for a massage.. etc etc)








i'm sure you'll think of something sweet!
Reply:Time and attention..real original these days.
Reply:sexy 8 dollar panties from victorias secret
Reply:Tattoo's last forever.
Reply:Do the dishes all week
Reply:Make her a card on the computer, you can't much cheaper then that. LOL ~~~~~~~ Happy Valentine's Day ~~
Reply:another woman!
Reply:Fart in a mitten, then give it to her and say it's from Paris Hilton.
Reply:A poem


straight from you.........not someone else.
Reply:i think if u make her something


ex.. get a large poster paper fold it in 1/2 and make it into a card .. %26amp; write something it can be like [i love u this much] or something like that





it's cheap %26amp; sweet...
Reply:Your time and attention ;) Treat her to a spa at home (massage, massage oils, feet rub, bathtub with rose petals, etc). What does she enjoy or have interest in? Go off of this so that it's something special and unique to her. Good luck.